The New Porker is currently recruiting new writers and reporters for their stable!

Do you have a story, headline, or an idea that would be a good fit for The New Porker? Awesome, because we’re hungry for your work!

It saddens us when we think of how many orphan stories there are longing for homes. The New Porker wants to adopt your stories or headlines into our meager farm where we will feed, wash, and raise them as if they were our own.

When we become rich, we will compensate you with gold and jewels and the heads of your enemies—we know your stories are worth it! But alas, we are still merely paupers in the world of media kings. Therefore, we must do what paupers do best, and beg. And eat gruel–lots and lots of gruel.

For any of your work we publish, we will give you full credit as a contributing author. And if we can be of service (or service you) in any other way, just give us a yowl.

So please, send us your ideas. Let’s collaborate, talk shop, wheel and deal. The news of today is hackneyed and snooze-worthy at best. The New Porker wants to tell the real stories—the stories dwelling in the underbelly that the white-haired, news corporations are afraid to tell.

Submit your work to The New Porker today, and let’s get cracking on the stories of our future:

info@thenewporker.com