Margaret Thatcher’s request to have pop singer Justin Bieber perform at her funeral was believed to be a hoax, until the Thatcher family made Margaret’s official funeral arrangements public.
“Throughout the years, my reputation as ‘Iron Lady’ has led many to believe that I’m a soulless, cold curmudgeon,” Thatcher wrote in her funeral arrangements. “That depiction of me couldn’t be further from the truth. Deep down inside me lives little Maggie Thatcher, who’s just as vulnerable as anybody.”
“Sometimes when I had a ruddy hard day, or someone made fun of my bouffant hairstyle and I felt like giving up, I’d pop Bieber’s album Believe in my Compact Disc player. It might sound silly,” Thatcher continued,” but Bieber sang his way into my soul and his lyrics resonate with the beat of my heart. I can no longer hide the truth—I’m a ‘Belieber;’ which is precisely why I am requesting he perform at my memorial.”
While reviewing Thatcher’s hidden files in her office, authorities discovered an extensive collection of Bieber CDs, trading cards, and an autographed Bieber poster that read: Ms. Thatcher, haters will say what they want, but their hate will never stop you from chasing your dreams. Love, J Biebs.
After witnessing Bieber’s performance, one senior Tory (who requested they remain anonymous) stated, “When I heard Justin Bieber was scheduled to perform at Margaret Thatcher’s funeral, I was outraged. I even thought about boycotting it. But I’m certainly happy I came. That Bieber has a nectar sweet voice. When he started singing ‘Favorite Girl,’ I won’t lie; I got a pretty choked up.”
Our London correspondent asked Bierber to comment on the performance. “I think older people can appreciate my music” Bieber said, “cause I really show my heart when I sing, and it’s not corny. My performance today proved that.” Bieber smiled, “I am the songbird of my generation. I mean, did ya see the way I had half the British Partialmint in tears during ‘Favorite Girl’? As Bieber recounts, “I leaned over Thatcher’s casket, looked into her closed, sweet eyes and cooed, “The one I can’t live without. That’s you, that’s you. Miss Mags, you’re my special little lady.”