Hugo Chavez in visita a Milano
Hugo Chavez, Venezuela’s greatest leader and singer is dead, along with many Venezuelans hope for the future. Before Chavez, Venezuela was renowned as “the world’s most mediocre country,” but Chavez’s forward thinking and pitch-perfect voice allowed Venezuela’s exports to skyrocket and its murder rate to drop exponentially.
Chavez was a modest, loving man whose witticisms rivaled those of Oscar Wilde. China’s president Hu Jintao claimed that once Chavez had the U.N. council “rolling on the floor laughing” after a string of quips about fossil fuels and human rights.
Although Chavez never ran for President, he always won as a write-in by at least 90%. Like America’s George Washington, Chavez never asked to be President, but he never complained about it either. After hearing the news about Chavez’s death, President Obama stated during a press conference, “Chavez and I were long time amigos. He taught me valuable lessons on how to run a country, but more importantly, how to be a good friend.” Obama then kissed his fist and pointed to the stars, “Say hola to Chuy up there for me, amigo, and keep a cold cereveza on deck.”
The New Porker 
I involved you in the blogosphere’s equivalent of a chain letter by nominating you for a Liebster Award. It’s kind of a pain, but you can find details at my blog.
I just realized you may have too many followers, but this has taken too much time already.
Hey, funnyphilosopher! Apologies for the late response. The New Porker took a little hiatus to roam Oregon and Washington for a few weeks. Good times, just don’t order any Po’ Boys in Portland unless you enjoy expelling your guts into hotel toilets for multiple days on end. But enough about my bowels, thanks for nominating The New Porker for a Liebster Award! We appreciate your readership and hopefully we’ll have the opportunity to return the favor. Cheers.