Carnival Cruise is currently requesting donations from passengers who were left stranded on a broken-down cruise ship for three extra days in the heart of the Arctic Ocean.
Carnival spokesman Chezy Leibowitz claims, “Carnival Cruise did not originally agree on giving passengers an extended three day vacation before setting sail. We’ve heard a lot of griping from some of these passengers, but they weren’t complaining while they enjoyed an additional three days of complimentary pizza, soda, a round of miniature golf—not to mention free room and board on the best cruise ship in the business. I mean, come on! I’m sorry they had to enjoy fun in the Artic sun for an extended period! Only in America do people whine about having to stay on vacation longer or missing an episode of survivor.”
We asked Leibowitz how he thinks customers should remedy Carnival Cruise’s losses. He replied, “Carnival Cruise simply wants passengers to try being a little more grateful and stop thinking only of themselves. These passengers essentially leeched off us for three days like the barnacles on the bottom of our boat. It’s only fair they give a little something back. After all, Carnival is not a charity; if people want free food and a place to sleep, they should check into their local homeless shelter.”
In Carnival’s defense, they aren’t asking passengers to donate the full amount for their extended vacation, just a generous portion of it. Or whatever they feel is fair for the fare.