A hacker recently released three untitled paintings stolen from George Bush’s email. And might we say, they’re nothing short of spectacular. George Bush has been long revered as one of America’s greatest leaders, but now many believe he is also America’s most brilliant living artist.
This first painting by George Bush depicts a lonely night hawk hunkered over a table at a restaurant. One might speculate the man is actually no other than Bush himself—and they would be right. Like George Bush, the man at the counter has muscular shoulders and a statuesque physique; but the most telling evidence that it’s Bush, is the the man is clearly scribbling on a yellow notepad (a longtime G.W. habit). Bush never stops creating.
After Bush’s political rein alienated him from friends, family, and a section of the world that would like to steal America’s freedom at all cost, he became a political martyr. Bush’s big risks to save America made him unpopular with many simpletons and fat cats, but nonetheless, he kept his moral compass intact and is now producing art that gives one’s eyes visual orgasms.
Bush’s second painting of this man at a gas station, once again, illustrates his loneliness. The man at the deserted gas pumps is also symbolic of Bush’s adventurous quest to secure enough oil to keep America #1 in damn near everything — especially our hearts. Like a Templar Knight’s crusade for the Holy Grail and Gollum’s passion for his “precious” ring, Bush left no stone unturned in his quest for oil. Now, he is alone. Making the right choices to secure our future was unpopular, and this painting captures his fortress of solitude. Every day Bush hands out free gas from this station on his ranch, in hopes that it will rebuild his generous image and make him a new friend.
The last of the Bush paintings series depicts a man sitting next to what looks like a Bible and a Christian housewife. Bush is now old, and starting to question if it was a mistake to frame his political policies with his evangelical beliefs in order to heal this nation full of sin. Bush wishes he could have saved more souls, but he understands that even Rome was not built in a day.
What many don’t know is George W. Bush received a full ride scholarship to Yale for painting. He was only one class away from graduation, but Bush senior refused to let him finish. Bush senior was not as well-rounded and open-minded as his son, and is quoted as saying, “G.W., future Presidents don’t get faggy Art degrees.” This is said to have destroyed G.W.’s love of the arts and crushed his individuality, but clearly his new paintings show that it is never too late to rekindle your passions.
Some might say Bush’s paintings border sentimentality, but on the contrary, his work realistically captures his inner turmoil. Maybe deep down Bush hopes to recapture the once great promise he had shown as a Yale artist, or maybe he’d like to retell his Presidency through painting so that one day he’ll be remembered not as The Great American President, but The Great American Artist.